


this hurts us more than it hurts you -- just kidding!

by redreaper86



Category: DC Extended Universe, Justice League (2017), The Batman (Movie 2021)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Flash (DCU) Played by Ezra Miller, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Non-Sexual Age Play, Non-Sexual Kink, Penguin (DCU) Played by Colin Farrell, Polygamy, Riddler (DCU) Played by Paul Dano, Sort Of, Spanking, Teasing, Threesome - M/M/M, baby talk, hero/villain relationship, mild punishment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:48:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28759092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/redreaper86/pseuds/redreaper86
Summary: Barry needs to learn to take care of himself better. Luckily his villainous boyfriends are right there to dish him out some tough love.
Relationships: Barry Allen/Edward Nygma, Barry Allen/Oswald Cobblepot, Barry Allen/Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma, Oswald Cobblepot/Edward Nygma
Comments: 8
Kudos: 27





	this hurts us more than it hurts you -- just kidding!

It has been the shittiest week Barry can remember in a long, long, long time. Like, gorilla’s arm kinda long. He’s battered. He’s hungry. He’s so, so tired. He just wants to crawl into bed and sleep after that epic three day battle fighting para-demons along side his fellow super-friends in the Justice League.

And he might’ve done exactly that if he was still single. But, Barry is so far from single it isn’t even funny. Or. Maybe to a really fucked-up individual it would be funny -- someone like the Joker, maybe -- but to Barry? Not so much. Because he not only has one, but two boyfriends. And the both of them are villains. The Penguin and the Riddler, to be exact. And…both of them are terrifying when they are angry. Not that they’d ever harm him. But…they might just break up with him after this. And Barry wouldn’t blame them a bit if they did. He deserved it after what he’d done -- or, what he’d neglected to do.

He trudges up the steps of the mansion (yes his two true loves live in a mansion) and enters the huge doors. As soon as he enters he hears raised panicked, angry voices.

“Don’t give me excuses, Victor! How hard can it be to find one kid?” 

“Turns out, pretty hard when that kid can move faster than the speed of light, boss.”

“Oh, he’s an idiot, Ozzie. Let me kill him.”

“Edward, darling, I get that you’re worried about Barry, but you can’t just kill someone to let off steam. No matter how _useless_ they’re being right now…”

Barry’s heart gives an awful thud, as he puts together a mental picture of every thing Oswald and Edward had gone likely through during those three days Barry was offline fighting the eldritch abominations of Darkseid. He hadn’t so much as shot them a text to let them know he was alright… 

Barry takes a deep breath and steps out of the foyer and into the parlour, to see Oswald and Ed facing down Zsasz. At Barry’s entry, all three villains’ heads swivel to face him.

Zsasz points at Barry. “There he is,” he says as though he’d just found him.

“Yeah, thanks, Zsasz, we have eyes,” Ed sneers.

“You can leave now, Victor,” Oswald says.

Zsasz does so, and when he brushes past Barry he hisses gleefully in the young man’s ear: “You are in _so_ much shit! Holy _fuck_ , I thought Roman was bad --”

“Zsasz, _out_!” Oswald snarls and Zsasz slinks out like a dog, still snickering.

Now, alone, Barry tries to muster the mental strength to face down two villains alone. The only problem is: he’s in love with them. He opens his mouth to explain but Oswald puts up his hand.

“Let me guess: you wanted to text us whether you were alive or dead, but you were too busy putting your life in danger non-stop?”

“I…” Barry begins, gesturing helplessly. “I’m so sorry, guys…”

“You’re always sorry, Barry,” Edward snaps, folding his arms and Barry winces, stung. If Ed was calling him ‘Barry’ and not ‘sparkplug’…Barry knows he really fucked up. “But you still keep doing this. Eleven times in the one month we’ve been seeing each other, this exact same scenario has happened.”

Barry opens his mouth to protest, it can’t possibly have been that many times.

“And don’t even bother trying to argue with him,” Oswald says sharply, causing Barry to snap his mouth shut again. “Edward has an eidetic memory. So. Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

Barry takes a deep breath which hurts, like he’s breathing in shards of glass. “I…I have no excuses. I’m just…I’m really sorry.”

“ _Fuck_ your ‘sorries,’” Ed’s voice is like a whiplash and Barry flinches under its bite. “We’re _sick_ of them.” 

Oswald draws his arm protectively around Edward’s narrow waist and Barry feels cold. This is it. He’s always known this -- that being part of Os and Ed’s incredible love -- is too good to be true. The backs of his eyes sting as the magnitude of what he’s about to lose slowly sinks in.

“We aren’t going to continue being treated this way, Barry,” Oswald continues sternly as Edward slides his own arms around the older man’s torso and lays his head on his shoulder. 

“I…I don’t blame either of you,” Barry murmurs, his own shaky voice unrecognizable to his own ears. “This is all my fault. I…I’ll go get my stuff…” He turns and walks on feet made of lead to go collect his things, get out of their lives for good. A hot tear runs down his face. 

“Where do you think you’re going, young man?” Oswald’s voice says behind him.

Ed lets out a mocking laugh. “Oh my god, Ozzie. He thinks we’re breaking up with him.”

Barry whirls around eagerly, hating himself for being so overjoyed that his villainous boyfriends weren’t throwing him away. “You’re not?”

Oswald’s deeper laughter mixes in with Ed’s musical giggling and Barry feels his face go hot. 

“Why would we punish _ourselves_ , sparkplug?” Edward gasps, his eyes sparkling with mirth.

“Yes, you’ll find you won’t get rid of us that easy, sweetheart,” Oswald added, with a dark grin.

Barry gulps. “I -- I wasn’t trying to get rid --”

“Silence.” Oswald snaps, his smile vanishing. “Did I give you permission to speak?”

“Uhm…no?” Barry blurts out, trying to keep up. How is it that he’s so fast on his feet but so slow with his brain cells?

“No. No, I did not.” Oswald chews on every word as though it is a tasty treat. “And yet, you are still talking.”

“No, I’m not --”

“You are too, you just did!” Edward crows, breaking into cackling laughter. “Oh, you are a _bad_ sparkplug, baby. However shall we punish him, Ozzie?” he turns to his plumaged paramour with vicious eagerness.

“Hm…” Oswald traces his bottom lip with his thumb. Barry never wants to be a thumb so much in his life. “I’d say no sex for a week -- but like you said, we don’t want to punish ourselves…”

“Certainly not,” Edward shakes his head. “ _We_ haven’t done _anything_ wrong. Unlike our naughty sparkplug here. Ooh, birdie,” Edward breaks into a beautiful but terrifying grin, “I know a good punishment.” He leans down and whispers into Oswald’s ear. Oswald smiles then, a slow, seductive smirk that turns Barry’s knees to water. 

“Barry, sweetheart,” Oswald says lightly. “Come here.” He beckons with a thick, beringged finger and Barry trips forward as though a string is looped around his heart. He’d never be able to say no, never to Oswald and Ed. 

Barry shivers as Oswald cups his face with both his hands. Edward tucks a stray lock of Barry’s long hair behind his ear.

“You do understand why we’re about to punish you, don’t you, sparkplug?” Oswald asks.

Barry bites his lip, dreading what his villain boyfriends have in store for him. “Because I forgot to text you both.”

“And?” Edward prompts.

“And…” Barry racks his brain trying to figure out what else they wanted him to say. “…I didn’t tell the Justice League they were working me too hard?”

“Bingo,” Oswald says, smiling proudly. “Now,” he takes a seat on the sofa, Ed sitting beside him, “to make the lesson stick.” He snaps his fingers and points to his wide lap. “Bend over my knee.” 

Barry’s veins feel like they’ve been electrified. “Um. Why?” 

Edward smirks, making Barry’s stomach feel like he ate lightning for lunch. “Oh, baby. Don’t insult your own intelligence. You know exactly why.”

“I guess I do,” Barry mumbles through numb lips, stepping forward. He feels twin sensations of dread and euphoria. He’s never been spanked before, never even thought about it, in his entire life. So now his whole body is shaking with anticipation of the humiliating punishment ahead of him.

He lays his lean torso, stomach down, over Oswald’s plushy thighs. He’s suddenly very aware he’s wearing his red velour track pants with an elastic band -- and just as he thinks of the possibility, they are yanked down just enough to expose his skinny ass for its proper thrashing.

“ _Hey_ \-- ” Barry begins, only to yelp as Oswald’s palm makes stinging contact with his bared rear. 

“What do you think Ed?” Oswald asks and Barry’s whole head goes hot with embarrassment as the two villains inspect his backside. Not that that is anything they haven’t seen before, but -- this is different. The three of them together was the three of them _together_ , like with each other. This feels like both Os and Ed teaming up against him. And…Barry doesn’t like that feeling.

“Needs more pink,” Edward puts in helpfully and Barry winces as several more slaps descend upon his now-stinging butt. 

“He’s being quite a brave little sparkplug,” Edward comments over the sound of the slaps, “I would be howling by now.” 

“Don’t I know it, lovely,” Oswald says, amusement tingeing his tones. “Our little speedster is being stubborn.” And with that, he delivers an utterly vicious swat on Barry’s rear which does elicit a shrill “ouch!” from him. Tears are gathering behind Barry’s eyes, his nose and in his mouth. He can’t hold back a whimper.

“ _There_ we _go_ ,” Oswald says pleasantly. “Is any of this sinking in yet, Barry? You -- have -- to tell -- your friends -- when you -- are getting -- over -- worked!” With every pause, a stinging swat lands on Barry’s now burning ass. Then he feels his pants being pulled back up. He feels as though he is about to burst into tears, just one wrong move and he’ll go off like nitro-glycerine. His breath comes in short bursts and he hates how babyish he sounds right now.

“Let me take him, Ozzie,” Edward murmurs softly and Barry feels big hands grip him around the ribcage and pass him to Ed. That, as it turns out, was the ‘one wrong move’ that set off the powder keg that is Barry’s pent-up emotion. Because as soon as Barry feels Edward’s long arms encircle him, he wraps his own arms and legs around Ed’s slender torso like a koala bear, jams his face into the older man’s shoulder and cries.

“Aww,” Edward chuckles, rubbing Barry’s shaking back. “Did you get in twouble, sparkplug?”

This teasing baby talk just makes Barry squirm even closer to the older man, giggle through his tears even though he sobs even harder. He feels Oswald’s big hand join Ed’s more delicate, slender ones in stroking Barry’s back.

“Did you learn your lesson, sweetheart?” Oswald murmurs.

“Mm-mm,” Barry whimpers and his two older villain boyfriends laugh softly at him.

“And you’re not gonna let your doofus-hero-buddies work you to a frazzle anymore?” Ed asks.

“Mm-mm,” Barry rubs his wet face into Ed’s shoulder, causing the latter to let out a comical groan.

Oswald laughed. “Now you know how I feel when you rub your snotty face onto my shirt after a spanking, Eddie.” Barry feels Oswald’s gentle fingertips push his long hair out of his face, tucking it behind his ear. 

Barry nuzzles deeper into Edward’s shoulder, feeling better knowing that the older man also went through such a childish humiliation on a regular basis, and likely would continue to. (Maybe Os would even let Barry be the one to spank Ed? They’d all talk about it. Later.) 

And as he lets Ed and Os take care of him, he makes his plans to tell Diana, aka Wonder Woman, everything about his life now: that he has two boyfriends, that they are villains, and how he couldn’t keep working the way he had previously -- fighting huge larger-than-life threats, without any reprieve.

Barry realizes he made it very easy for Batman and the rest of the JL to just assume he could go on fighting, fighting, fighting with no rest because he never complained. If there was anything Os and Ed’s independent mindset had taught him (even though he didn’t agree with their villainous lifestyle), was there _was_ value to challenging the _status quo_ , to complaining -- to thinking about one’s self for once. 

The young hero snuggles closer to his beloved older villains, and never feels more safe or loved in his life.


End file.
